To love children, educate them from early childhood

To Love Children, Educate Them from Early Childhood. (Courtesy jimmiehomeschoolmom/Flickr)

SOH’s Ancient Tales of Wisdom brings stories that enrich the essence of our being.  Today’s narrative is based on the value, worth and necessity of consistent guidance and nurturing of children from a tender young age.   So too, it speaks about the interaction of love, kindness, respect and dignity between parents and their offspring. This story also expounds on results that can unfold when guidelines and the understanding of consequences is lacking in our loved ones education.   Ancient cultures from all lands have always placed great emphasis on educating their young from the cradle – in their varied and told ways.

Welcome again to Ancient Tales of Wisdom, this is Grace Mann.  Without any further ado let’s now go to our story: TO LOVE CHILDREN, EDUCATE THEM FROM EARLY CHILDHOOD.

From Ancient Chinese records – Yan’s Family Rules state, that emperors and saints in ancient times made sure their young children learned piety and kindness, etiquette and righteousness from expert teachers. Although the common people were not of the same stature as the imperial family, when their families were old enough to know happiness and anger, they too started to teach and guide their children in correct behaviours.

Within these consistent guide-lines, the children, when asked to do or not do something, would follow parental instructions. After a few years, the parents didn’t need to threaten punishment, because they had educated, guided and nurtured their children- with consistency, dignity and love from a young age. Therefore, the children readily obeyed, having learned that respect and disobedience brought different consequences.

Many people in our world only know how to love their children, but not how to educate them. Thus, children’s behaviours are all at their own will. When they do wrong, parents should warn and reprimand them. Children need to be disciplined through reason and consequence. Also it can be clearly explained to them that if they do kind and good things, good and kind things will also come their way.

There are times when parents make excuses for their children’s wrong-doings, blame others, and often ignore the situation at hand.  To the other extreme, there are parents who demand filial respect through their own untoward behaviours.

None of these situations reveals good outcomes.  As these children grow up, their conduct shows unhealthy attitudes and behaviours.  By this time, if parents want to begin educating their children, they usually find it a fruitless task, because these behavioural patterns are already in-ground in them, with the children wilfully and defiantly ignoring their parents;  which then creates more havoc.  The children’s anger will gradually rise until they come to loathe their parents. It is these children – that have the potential to become dysfunctional and displaced adults.

Confucius always said, “Habits formed in childhood are like instincts. Habits will become a person’s nature.” Confucius also expresses the same truth, as the proverb that says, “A child’s learning should start in his early childhood.” These are steadfast statements.

Shi Que always advised King Zhuang in Wei Country, ” …. if a father really loves his children he should teach them the right way to be good people and should not let them step onto an evil path. Pompous, insolent, dissolute and indulgent   behaviour will cause them to step onto an evil path. If the children have these four kinds of habits, it is because their parents have doted on them excessively.”

Since ancient times, many fathers have known how to dote on their children, but for whatever reason did not always educate and guide them.  Consequently, with this lack of parental guidance, these children grow up without a steadfast grounding. It is this foundation that is the key which enables them to build and live a good, responsible and clean life.  Also, without this solid base, it can lead children into living untoward lives, often times hurting themselves and others or even destroying themselves and others.

Many examples of unhealthy parenting can be seen in today’s world.  Is it not a parent’s responsibility to guide, educate and give their children a solid foundation -  which in turn, steers them to be the kind and respectful adults of tomorrow.  If parents love their off- spring, though condone an improper path, can this be considered love?

There are parents who indulge their children that can be heard saying, “The children are too young to understand, they don’t know, their just children. Let us wait until they are older to educate them.” This notion, as with all aspects of little parental guidance from a child’s early years, is said to be like planting a seedling crooked. If one waits until the seedling grows to prune and nurture it, what will the quality of the fruits it bears be like? It is also like opening a birdcage and releasing the bird, without first thinking of the repercussions – then trying to catch it!

Thank you for the privilege of bringing this ‘food for thought’ story to you all.  I’ll be with you again real soon to share more great Ancient Tales of Wisdom.

Until then, be happy, laugh lots- and let’s all put mindful effort into guiding, educating and nurturing our young.

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